The palace in Skyworld (A Persona 5 X Kid Icarus fanfic)
by v0k4l
Summary: The Phantom Thieves and Palutena's army join forces against the Forces of Nature! Viridi has gone out of control, and most of the phantom thieves have died in a car crash, leaving Akira and Futaba scarred. The only way to avenge them is to go to Skyworld with Pit, and steal Viridi's heart! The clock is ticking, the fate of humanity at stake, will the three save the world? Dundundun
1. Chapter 1: Accidents

Chapter 1: Accidents

The sky was overcast. Rain pattered on the ground. Leaves were swirling in the gale. A teenage boy's footsteps could be heard as he rushed home from the rain. Each step he took caused a splash. Running through the safety of his doorstep, he slammed the door behind him, taking a moment to catch his breath. Akira Kurusu was finally home, in his hometown to which he returned a few months ago. Before that, he lived in Yongen Jaya as the leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts where he was on probation because of a crime he did not commit. They had saved the world from distortion and corrupt men who seek for their gain, embodying the rebellious spirit. But he had to leave because he cannot stay there forever. It was a shame, he made friends, a family, and the best memories there, but as the saying goes, all good things must end. He still it contact with his friends through SNS, but it was not the same as meeting them everyday. He especially missed his girlfriend, Futaba Sakura, who he spent the last few months in most company with, she managed to find his address just by hacking it from his phone. Yet, one he still has someone to talk to about his previous life. A certain black and white ball was curling at his feet, sneezing from the cold. He was really grateful that his beloved pet Morgana was able to follow him home. Despite all this, Joker wished that he could spend one more time in their company as the Phantom Thieves of Hearts. Little did he know that new problems could mend old wounds.

His parents were out for a dinner date, and he would have been at the lake fishing (and Morgana would keep devouring his catches), had it not been for the rain. In fact, it has been raining a lot lately, causing many accidents on the road. Morgana started to sneeze again. "Hey Joker, it's so cold! And wet! I demand sushi! SUSHI!" Joker chuckled, his friend will never change no matter where he is. He checked his SNS. No new messages, in fact there hasn't been any for a few days. Akira was starting to get worried, his friends promised to contact each other everyday since he left and yet there was no soul to be found online on the chat. He shook his head, thinking maybe they were out of town, and didn't have reception. With that thought implanted, he fed Morgana some leftover Sushi from the fridge, made himself a cup of coffee, and sat legs crossed in front of the TV with Morgana on his lap. A news report came through after bursts of static:

"-Interrupt your daily programme for breaking news. Another tragedy because of the late storms. A group of five driving down Kyoto highway that were killed by a falling tree struck by lightning was found this morning. Autopsy results identify them as former members of the intrepid Phantom Thie-"

Joker spews out coffee.

"WHAT?!"

...

Pit was in a frenzy. He had to fight the forces of nature, command his centurions, try to protect the humans and help Palutena on her missions. All in a days work as an angel and the commander of Palutena's army. But really he was not up for this battle. This is the work of Viridi, Goddess of Nature. Pit was stopping her from unleashing her absolute wrath upon the humans. He has been fighting nonstop for days, weeks with no sign of the battle ending. He needed help. Right know he was in front of Palutena, requesting a favour. "I really need help with controlling Viridi, Lady Palutena! She's wreaking havoc upon the humans! Many are dying in the process!"

This was the first time in all her years knowing Pit had Palutena seen him so panicked and flustered. Normally he goofy and lighthearted, but because his favourite species was under siege, he has taken this very seriously. "Very well," she said after much begging from Pit in a exasperated sigh, "Come with me to the viewing fountain, we will find the best men to assist you for the job."

With that, they went to the viewing fountain. Palutena swirled its contents with her staff, murmuring words of a spell. Soon, the fountain was filled with a light, and then died down to reveal a burning tree and scraps of metal around it. A crimson red liquid oozed around it...

"Soo... the best man for the job... is a dead metal tree?"

Now it was Palutena's turn to panic.

"Oh no... Oh no nonono..."

"What is it, Lady Palutena?"

"The group that I want to ask for help was this group, The Phantom Thieves of Hearts..."

"Oh! I've heard of them! They're a teenage group of rebels from Yongen-Jaya, Japan, who recently saved the world from corruptio..."

At this point Pit noticed Palutena's quelling look and shut up.

Palutena sighed, "That's nice that you have been up to date with the recent up and comings, Pit. But I am afraid that they are of no help. Viridi's storm had struck a tree and caused it to crash into their car... Three of them died in the impact and two more are bleeding to death.

"But... but... can't we do something?"

"I'm afraid not Pit, even if we did go down to help it would probably be to late."

"Can't you resurrect them?"

"I could try, but even resurrecting one of them would drain me of almost all my power and I would not be able to provide you your powers."

"Sigh... it really seems there is no hope for humanity after a- WAIT WHAT'S THAT LINE?!"

Palutena focused her attention on a bloody trail that was either leading towards or away from the car...

"Sharp eye, Pit! Maybe at least one of the Phantom Thieves survived after all!"

"I feel so sorry for the guy, having to abandon his friends just because he can't do anything about it... I can relate to it..."

"Nice that you're sentimental about it, but I think you got the gender wrong, Pit."

"What! It's a girl?!"

"Hang on, I'm picking up more phantom thieves! I'm getting a visual!"

The fountain changed the image; instead of a gruesome crash site, it was displaying a teenage boy sitting in front of a dark liquid stained TV, watching a news report of the accident, cradling a cup of earlier said dark liquid (if it's chocolate, I like him already, Pit thought) and a cat on his lap.

"Pit! These three are our last hope for humans! You must bring them over now!"

"Three? There is only this dude and the girl who survi-"

"NO TIME FOR QUESTIONS! GO NOW!"

...

"I... I c-can't believe th-this..." Morgana sobbed.

Akira knew how he felt, losing all your friends because of a car crash...

Wait, did he lose all of them? The report only said five...

"DING DONG"

"Coming!" Akira yelled.

He went to the door, opened it...

To find a blood stained Futaba Sakura.

...

"Fu- Futaba?!" Akira stuttered, "No, nononono, the universe is playing a sick prank on me. Futaba... Futaba died... she died in the c-c-car cr-crash...".

Futaba managed a weak smile, or maybe it's a grimace.

"Joker, I-I mean, Akira Kurusu... It's me..."

"NO! NO IT CAN'T BE! GO AWAY DEMON! LEAVE ME BE!"

With that, he slammed the door, or, he tried to, Futaba held it by putting her foot between the door and the frame. If it weren't for her sturdy boots, her foot would have been chopped off. Still, she could feel the force of his slam. "Please," Joker pleaded, leave me alone..." He was really looking quite deranged. His cute face was wet with tears, he was now pulling tufts of his frizzy hair, he was looking down, not wanting to meet her eyes... She winced, her heart was broken that he didn't believe her, even more so when Joker called her a demon, and now this, it split her heart cleanly in two. At this rate, he was going to have a palace soon, his mind was getting very distorted. Is this the Joker she knows? Joker, who was normally so composed. Joker, the heart, soul and embodiment of the Phantom Thieves. Joker, the adorkable boy she has fallen in love with...

She can't take this torture. She wanted the real Akira Kurusu back.

"JOKER! WAKE UP!" With her good hand, she slapped him hard across the face. Joker stumbled. "ARRGGHH!" Her hand and arm was stinging from the force she used in that slap, but she didn't care, she has got his attention, even if for moments. "Akira Kurusu! It's me! Futaba Sakura! Adopted daughter of Sojiro Sakura! You, as Joker, stole my heart and my treasure with the Phantom thieves and saved me from my palace! You are my boyfriend! What more proof do you want Inari?!" Her face was wet again with fresh tears. Then, looking back at what she said, she turned away, not wanting him to see her blush. I can't believe I just shouted out loud that I'm his girlfriend!, she thought.

Akira was at a lost for words, he had made Futaba Sakura cry. If this was a crime, he would have a death sentence. All his disbelief at Futaba was gone. It was replaced with guilt. Of all the crimes he had committed, he had never experienced any thing like this before. She turned around. Was she going to leave him? He could not bear let her go again.

He wrapped his arms around her. She emitted a little squeak of surprise. She was damp from the rain, sticky from her blood, but he did not care. All he cared about was that this cute girl in his arms is his girlfriend, and that's all that matters. He whispered into her ear. "Well, there is one more proof you can show me..." He turned her around. "... Do your kisses taste the same?" His lips met hers, and he placed his hand behind her head and used a little force to push. As if on autopilot, she put her hands on his shoulders and tiptoed to gain more height (she is a lot shorter that him, after all). He slid his tongue into her mouth, and when it touched hers, she let out a little moan of delight. All earlier anger at Akira had evaporated, now all that mattered was this kiss. She pulled away reluctantly and spoke to him, "Did... did I pass the test?" Akira looked at her big, soulful eyes and thought, she looks really cute when flustered. "Of course you did, Sakura." All her emotions had welled up in her, losing her friends, enduring a painful journey to his hometown to find help, experiencing her earlier rejection from him and now being kissed by him, it made her feel like when her Mom died; confused and stressed. She needed a shoulder to cry on, and luckily, Akira offered his.

"A...After the... accident... I... I was so... so scared... I... didn't... think I see you again" Futaba whimpered, "The... the... others died... because... I COULDN'T HELP THEM!" She immediately started crying hard into his shoulder, letting his hand stroke her. She was grateful for the sympathy that he gave her. She missed it so much when he left Yongen-Jaya, when he left the Phantom Thieves, when he left her...

"J-j-Joker? C-can I ask a favour?" She stopped her tiptoe, and wrapped her hands hard around him. Akira was surprised at this sudden affection. "Don't leave me alone ever again..." Futaba whispered before she lost consciousness, "I love you, Akira Kurusu".

…

Akira came out of the shower, aching from bandaging Futaba's injuries. She had broken her arm and leg, and would take days to recover. Morgana was shocked to see Futaba at the doorway, also thinking that she was a casualty of the accident. He helped him lay her on his bed (which isn't saying much considering he's a cat).

He also helped with treating some of the wounds, moving as if he had done it many times before. (looks like someone has been learning from Tae).

Tired from taking care of her,

Futaba gained consciousness after several hours. But she was so sleepy she didn't want to open her eyes. She turned to her right side to relieve her left leg, and collided into something warm. She felt it, it's a very familiar touch, but she can't remember where she touched it before… It reminded her of her Akira dakimakura back home, her personal security item every time she went to bed. She wrapped her arm around it, bringing it closer to her. A slight protrusion was digging into her G-spot. Letting out a little moan of satisfaction, she started to mumble "Uhh… come inside me, Akira…"

"Um… are you awake Futaba?"

She immediately shot open her eyes. What she had earlier perceived to be a dakimakura turned out to be Akira's shirtless body, fresh out of the shower, based on how wet his body was. And that "protrusion" turned out to be his "dagger" (it isn't a weapon ;P). "AKIRA! How… How much did you hear?!"

"Eh, a few things. You really have a dakimakura of me?"

"N-no…" She turned a very bright shade of red.

Akira moved his head closer to her, whispering into her ear, "You look so cute when you're blushing", causing her to look as if her whole head was on fire.

In an attempt to move away from this awkward topic, she stuttered, "Where… where are we?"

"Oh, welcome to my bedroom!", Joker replies.

"Y-YOUR BEDROOM?! Wha- what if your parents se-se-see us now?!"

"It's ok, they're out until tomorrow, god knows why. But we're not the only ones in the house now." At this, Morgana jumped onto Futaba's lap. "Nice to see you awake, Futaba!"

"Mona!" She sat up to pet the cat, or at least she tried. Her spine was stiff and sore, her left leg was tied to a splint and her right arm was in a cast. She was dressed in clothing not belonging to her, a shirt larger than her, a bra and panties not her size.

"Uhh… what happened to me?"

"That's what we wanted to ask you. How did you survive the crash?"

Her mind was foggy, she tried her hardest to remember what happened in the crash. She didn't want to bring it up, even trying to caused her great pain. Akira noticed, and said, "I know it's painful Futaba, but it would only get worse if you don't open up. Mona and I want to help, but we need you to tell us so that we can help. Be brave Futaba, we're here for you." She sniffed, took a deep breath, and recollected.

...

"WHAT THE HECK, VIRIDI! STOP THIS!" Pit navigated through the storms, winds and disasters the goddess of nature conjured. But trapping him in a hurricane? That just crossed the line. Pit was trying to reach the home of the last surviving phantom thieves, but was proving quite the challenge what with all the problems Viridi put his way. "Lady Palutena, if you're listening, I want a pay rise when all this is done! I'm supposed to be having my rest day today! I didn't expect to fly through a freaking tornado!"

Palutena's calm laugh flooded his ear. Of course she could hear, how else could she communicate with Pit on his missions? Long used to her best commander and surrogate "Son"'s insistent whining, she managed to keep her ground. "Alright Pit, that's if you bring the three of them back here in one piece, and yourself nonetheless."

"Three? There was only the frizzy-haired dude and the half-dead redhead! Who's the third?"

"Don't tell me you didn't see the cat, Pit."

"Yeah I did! But where's the- oh... HOW CAN A CAT BE A THIEF? IT'S ONLY A CAT!"

"Well that's what my sources told me, and since when have you questioned my judgement?"

"I- I... not questioning... sigh, sorry Lady Palutena."

"Ok I get that you're- LOOK OUT FOR THE TREE!"

"Wha tree- ARRGGHH!"

The impact of the tree, fueled by the strength of Viridi's hurricane and Pit's momentum, caused Pit to be flung far from Skyworld into a portal to the Overworld. Pit tried to use his Wings of Pegasus, but experienced excruciating pain; the tree had damaged his left wing.

"MAYDAY! MAYDAY! I'M SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL! ARRGGHH! I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO REEAAADDDD!"

Palutena could only watch her best lieutenant spiral through the air like a malfunctioning plane, and couldn't do anything as he saw him fly towards a rural countryside town...

"PIT!"

...


	2. Chapter 2: Introductions

**To those people who read the first chapter and liked it, OMG tnx! I'm extremely sorry that I didn't post enough and wrote so little. I had to start school again and I took a part time job, so i was extremely busy during my holidays. Hope you guys r doing well. Because I didn't post for so long, let me express my Merry Christmases and Happy New Years! (even tho im EXTREMELY LATE) Hope you guys enjoy this!**

Chapter 2: Introductions

"So you came all the way here yourself with your busted leg just to find help? That's pretty harsh, but admirable." Morgana mused. Akira couldn't agree more. He can't believe how far his girlfriend has gotten in life. Futaba had faced her demons, conquered her fears of socialising, braving high school, help to fight a freaking god, accepting his farewell, but this has got to be one of the most courageous things she's done: sacrificing her life for her friends.

He was so proud of her.

Unfortunately, her help didn't save them in the end. They still died from the crash. Ryuji, Ann, Yusuke, Makoto and Haru; he would never experience the joy that is their company ever again, and that's what tore them up inside. In the small space that is Akira's bedroom, was the last remaining phantom thieves, grieving over the deaths of their friends, wishing they could turn back time and rectify it.

Little did they know that wish was going to come true…

In the form of an angel.

"SMACK!"

Akira, Futaba and Morgana snapped out of their trance to turn their attention to the only window, where a boy with chocolate brown locks and a weird crown faceplates himself on it. He sticks for a second before sliding off and crashing to the floor below. Futaba and Morgana were agape with shock, while Akira was at a pure loss for words. There was silence, a tension so thick it had to be cut with a knife, until it was broken with Morgana yelling "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!"

Roused from their senses, the trio scurried down the stairs and rushed into the garden, where the boy was feebly stirring on a hedge. He looked like he's been through a hurricane, his hair was matted with twigs and leaves, his arm was bruised, and his clothing, a pure white toga, was torn to shreds. Futaba looked at Akira "He looks like he's been through hell! Good thing that cotton you grew cushioned the fall."

Akira was puzzled "I don't grow cotton…"

"Then what's that white stuff underneath him then?"

"Ow… screw that tree…"

Their attention turned to the boy who was starting to get to his feet. The "white stuff" seemed to move with him, to be attached to his back…

"Wait…" realisation dawned on Futaba, "ARE THOSE FREAKING WINGS?!"

The boy turned around, noticing their presence, and his eyes widened with recognition. "You're… the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, right?" he asked warily, steeling himself for the consequences in case he was wrong.

Morgana looked stunned "Woah! Can this boy… thing, read minds?! How does he know our true identities?"

The boy looked relieved, glad he had crashed into right into his destination and not some obscure nowheresville. "My apologies for this sudden appearance. I am Pittavian, but people call me Pit. I am the captain of the goddess Palutena's army." They were completely puzzled to this information, and was resigned to use his inferior term to describe himself. "I am an Angel", he sighed.

Akira was the first to recover from shock from this awkward introduction. "No need to be so formal, Pit. I'm Akira, this is Futaba and Morgana". Futaba gave a meek wave, but Morgana meowed, "Wow! I've seen Angels in the Metaverse, but never in real life! Is he for real though? He could just be some random cosplayer."

"Mona, shut up!"

"Relax, we're not in the Metaverse. He can't understand me anyway."

But Pit, on this comment, looked agitated and flared up. "Some random cosplayer, huh? You haven't seen the true extent of my power!"

As if to show off, he spread his wings in an impressive manner and shouted in an otherworldly voice. "WINGS OF PEGASUS!" He skyrocketed about 60 feet into the air, his wings supporting him. The three on the ground watched in awe, at least until a look of pain crossed his face, and fell like an atomic bomb to the ground, to which they rushed to get underneath him and catch him. They carried him inside, which wasn't an issue because he was as light as a feather, and carried him to where Futaba lay earlier.

"Is he gonna be okay?"

"No thanks to you earlier, Mona! What do have to go provoking him for?"

"Not my fault that he wanted to injure himself! Anyway, I didn't even think he could understand me!"

"Urrgh… what happened?"

Their attentions turned to Pit, who was feebly stirring.

"Hey Pit, you okay?", asked Akira.

"Yeah… must've injured my wing when I flew through the hurricane…"

"What hurricane?"

"Nothing…"

"Oww…"

Futaba sat next to Pit, who sat up right, mostly because she couldn't stand to pain in her mangled leg much longer, but also wanted to question him.

"So Pit, why are yo-"

"WAIT! ASK THE MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION FIRST! HOW CAN HE UNDERSTAND ME?!"

"Mona! Not now!"

But Pit already answered, "Answering the cat's question firs-"

"I'M NOT A CAT!"

"Fine, MORGANA'S question first, I'm an Angel, so I can understand a whole lot of things that regular humans can't."

"Okay…, then why are you here?"

Pit sighed, having forced to endure the pain of his everywhere. "I'm sent here by the goddess Palutena, to ask you for help"

"Help? How can we help a god?" Morgana asked.

"The goddess of nature in my realm is Viridi. She has hated humans, due to humans always doing things to harm the environment. It has been this way for eons, but recently she has been infuriated more than usual. Notice the recent freak natural disasters? She's the cause of it. Including the one which killed your friends…"

At this he became solemn, because Futaba started tearing up. Morgana asked, "Wait, but why are we involved?"

Thankful that Palutena briefed him while on the way here, he replied, "We believe that she has an even more distorted view of humans now from unknown sources, and has developed what you call a "Palace". We need your help to steal her heart and her treasure to restore balance. I'm supposed to fly you over, but my wings…"

At that point a flash of light enveloped them, followed by a smash of noise, and they found themselves in a grand castle large enough to house several Diet Buildings.

"Hey Pit, where exactly are w-"

"Good to finally meet you at last. I have heard a lot about your little gang. A pity that your friends can't be here. But if you complete your task, I might return them back to you…" A female voice reverberated throughout the building, causing tremors within.

Everyone jumped in surprise, not expecting this voice.

"Woah! What's that? Is this normal in this place, Pit?", Morgana cried.

This voice might have been from the walls, it was all over the place. The voice sounded motherly, yet Pit was in shock. This was a voice he did NOT want to hear again. Their last meeting caused shivers down his spine. He drew his dual blades and brought the tips together, forging his signature God Bow, and drew back the drawstring, a arrow of pure light already nocked in, and aimed around randomly. "SHOW YOURSELF, MEDUSA!".

"Chill out, Pit. I am merely speaking to you spiritually, not physically. I have summoned you here on Palutena's orders."

But Pit was not convinced on this. He was pissed at Medusa for trying to take over the world once, even if she was telling the truth, Pit didn't want to take chances.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO LADY PALUTENA?"

"All I did was-"

"That's enough Medusa. Thanks for your help. Welcome, Joker and Oracle, to my Temple."


	3. Chapter 3: Exploration

"L... Lady Palutena!" Pit hastily greeted, genuflecting. The others in company followed suit, or at least, tried to. Futaba, forgetting her broken leg, she instead did a flop on the ground with a "OOF".

"Oh dear, she has been through the mill.", Palutena stated, "Centurions, do bring Ms Sakura to the infirmary, we need everyone in top conditions when we leave for Viridi's." Noticing the rest still taking a knee, she added, "Erm… At ease".

Futaba was led to the infirmary, supported by two Centurions, slightly abashed, mumbling something about fainting too much. She was star-struck at the grandeur of the place, something straight out of a video game she played as a kid. Upon remembering this, however, tears welled up. That game was one of her favourite games she played with her mom, and she's gone... and so are most of her friends. Who would be next? She hopelessly wondered. Sojiro? Mona-Chan? Akira? She didn't want to be OM the back lines anymore. She wanted to be the one protecting, not the one being protected...

She wanted to be like her leader.

He's that guy in a Sim that would be voted best boy but impossible to be cause he was too...

…

...Too...

...

..._Perfect_

…

_...Confident_

_..._

_...Trustworthy_

_..._

_...He's someone that I love..._

…

_...To protect what I love..._

_..._

_...I need to learn how to fight..._

...

Reaching the infirmary, Futaba realised that it looked nothing like one. No beds. No medical stuff. Just a big ass hot spring with towels and spare clothing.

"We ARE in the right place, right?", Futaba asked, fearing for her purity. (*ahem*)

"Just get in the hot spring, soak in it for a while till your leg heals, then go to the mess hall. You'll be briefed on your mission there." With that, they quickly marched away, leaving Futaba to fend for herself in the steamy room. (*ahem ahem*)

...

" And here are your quarters, where your team may reside for as long as you choose to grace our halls. And that concludes the tour." The centurion told Akira and Morgana, " Any questions?"

Morgana started to pipe up, "Err... actually-"

"None? Excellent! Now head to the mess hall, you will be briefed on your Mission there." Just like that he left his companions as they stood as confused as a fanfic reader who just read to world's trashiest creations with questions that the lazy author did not answer in said creation (wait what? Hey wait Viridi how did you get here NO HANDS OF MY KEYBOARD YOU WILL MAKE YOUR APPEARANCE STO-)

...

**Technical difficulties**

...

_Hello~ readers! It's me, the beautiful goddess Viridi! Now while I have author-kun here hostage I am here to ruin all your pitiful lives with some spoilers to torture little mister author-kun here. Any words for your dear readers here?_

**Author-kun: No! Don't listen to her! She's planning to- MMPH! (is gagged)**

_And that's all for author-kun~ Sad. Now time to spoil this entire fanfic! Did you know, everyone mentioned so far will all die! And I WILL ASSERT DOMINANCE OVER ALLL YOU USELESS SACKS OF MEAT! SAY GOODBYE TO AUTHOR-KUN EVERY- wait, how did you get in- GYYAAAHHHH!_

**More technical difficulties—please stand by**

**A/n I apologise for the long wait everyone. If you are confused at what just happened, don't worry it will all make sense later on in the story. I had trouble writing this chapter and at a point procrastinated it for about 3 months to the point I wanted to just delete the story from FanFiction entirely. Glad I didn't though. (Also I have been trapped in Viridi's dungeon for some time now you wouldn't believe how much bonda- torture suits she has *ahem ahem ahem*) In all seriousness though I do need some assistance in writing this so if y'all are too free and wanna help this sorry excuse for a human then PM me pls. Without anymore delays, back to the hijinks of the main characters. (WOO!) **

...

Everyone gathered in the Mess hall. Futaba's leg has been healed (Hot springs really work wonders!), and she donned a new simple white dress, which had accentuated the size of her bust, left at the rocks to change out of her misfitting attire. Akira, already there, thought the dress brought out the colour of her hair. _It's nice, but she'd better return me those clothes she borrowed or else Mom would be after my blood._

Futaba noticed he was staring at her. Her face immediately turned light pink. _Is he ogling me? Omg he's ogling me! Uh... uh... AHHH!_ She covered her relatively small chest.

"St-stop staring! Perv!"

Akira, his mind in the heavens now (both figuratively and literally), came crashing back to the plane of existence we know as reality (curse reality) with a blush of his own.

"N-no! It's nothing like that!"

"AKIRA YOU PERV!"

She then proceeded to smack him repeatedly with the palm of her hand at the speed he uses to button mash (has she got the sonic socks on?) It caused him to run and she gave chase, chanting, "Baka! Baka! Baka!"

Morgana, forgotten during the interaction between the two lovebirds, sweat dropped. "Like brother and sister…" he grumbled.

"Dinner's rea- WHOA!" Palutena exclaimed, as the formidable leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, nearly crashed into her, comically winding his arms to prevent him from losing his balance and making her drop the pot, only for Futaba to crash into him and caused the two of them to tumble in a heap of limbs at Palutena's feet. The goddess just stared at them, bewildered.

"Oh…, uh-huh, long story…" Akira stammered sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, both of them blushing furiously, and quickly got up.

Palutena merely chuckled and shook her head, "No wonder you two fell for each other…", and set the pot on the table. Pit followed, carrying a cloche-covered silver platter of his own. He noticed the light markings on Akira, which caused Akira to hit him with a look that plainly put, "Don't ask". Pit nodded, understanding completely.

They all settled around the table, with a bar stool for Morgana (dunno whether Palutena got that). Palutena removed the lid of the pot with a "Bon Appétit!"

It was the smell that hit them first.

"N-no way… Th-th-that's-"

Akira has heard the rumors. Back in his hometown, there were stories of its past. One of the legends at the local high school was about its annual school camp, where many years prior a team during the camp created a substance so vile that one spoonful of it took out both males. Now, as they sat before Palutena's dish, the horror stories surrounding the dish came to mind, with its signature description…

Mystery

Food

X

One bite, and your tastebuds will never be the same.

Ever

"Wh-what's wrong?", Palutena asked, noticing the fear in the eyes of the guests.

"Palutena-sama, where did you get this recipe?"

"Well, I was told that te Japanese liked curry, so I found a recipe from the local innkeeper from your hometown, Akira! Lucky right?"

"Ehh…" Akira answered with a shrug, having an idea of the identity of the innkeeper.

"Well, eat up."

To avoid pissing off the goddess, Akira, Futaba and Pit took small portions of the "curry" on the rice, and, with heavy hearts, took a bite.

The effect was instantaneous.

Pit straight out collapsed on the floor, eyes wide, face drained of colour, mouth foaming, body twitching. Futaba and Akira tried to hold it in, hands on their mouths, but the taste was too overwhelming, and ended up in the same horrifying state as Pit, a full-on triple K-O.

Palutena straight out screamed, terrified that she just possibly poisoned two civilians and her best lieutenant, and quickly called for some centurions on standby duty to bring the tree back to the infirmary (JUST CALL IT HOT SPRING HAVEN GODDAMNIT) and hurried after them. Morgana, who was forgotten to the events that transpired, gingerly walked to the dish Pit made and with his teeth carefully removed the cloche.

His first thoughts? _IT'S SUSHI HEAVEN ASDFGHJKLQWERTYUIOPZXCVBNM_

On the platter was every type of sushi conceived, nigiri, gunkan, maki, you name it. And the Sashimi! On a one-way trip to his stomach.

He cleaned the entire platter in a matter of seconds.

Left in a food coma, he was delirious.

"Y'know Akira, I'm starting to like it here".


End file.
